Why First Impressions Stick — and How to Change Them
Jul 3, 2025, 00:30
The neuroscience of snap judgments, social pain, and second chances
We’ve all been there — walking away from a first meeting replaying our every word and gesture, wondering, “Did I come off badly?” First impressions linger in our minds and often feel disproportionately important. But why does our brain place so much weight on that brief window of interaction? And if we think we’ve made a poor impression, is there any way to undo it?
Let’s take a closer look at what science says about the psychology and neuroscience behind first impressions — and what to do when they go wrong.
The Brain’s Snap Judgement System
Our brains are wired for efficiency. In a social situation, especially when meeting someone new, we subconsciously gather an incredible amount of information in just milliseconds. Research shows that within 1/10th of a second, we form judgments about a person’s trustworthiness, likability, and competence — all based on facial expression, tone of voice, posture, and even scent.
This rapid-fire assessment is an evolutionary trait. In our ancestral past, quick judgments often meant the difference between safety and danger. The faster we could assess whether someone was a friend or threat, the more likely we were to survive.
That ancient circuitry still runs today — just in more modern settings like job interviews, dates, and first Zoom calls.
Why First Impressions Stick
The phenomenon known as the primacy effect helps explain why first impressions are so sticky. When we meet someone, the information we receive first tends to carry more weight than what comes later. This cognitive bias makes it harder to update our mental image of a person, even if new evidence contradicts our original impression.
In other words, our first opinion often becomes the frame through which we interpret everything else.
Neuroscientifically, this effect is reinforced by the amygdala — the brain’s emotional alarm system — and the prefrontal cortex, which evaluates social information. Together, they create a feedback loop: when our emotional system responds strongly to an initial impression, our rational mind often justifies it afterward.
Can You Recover From a Bad First Impression?
Yes — but it takes conscious effort and time.
Studies show that consistent positive interactions can override a negative first impression, especially when the initial meeting was brief or ambiguous. For example, if someone first perceived you as aloof but later witnesses your warmth and openness repeatedly, their brain starts to update its mental model of you.
This process is supported by neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. With repeated exposure to new, conflicting information, the brain eventually softens or even discards the original judgment.
That said, the deeper or more emotionally charged the first impression, the harder it is to change.
What Helps Shift Impressions?
If you feel like you made a less-than-ideal first impression, don’t panic. Here’s what can help:
●Acknowledgement: If appropriate, gently acknowledging the awkward start can clear the air.
●Time: Neural rewiring doesn’t happen overnight. Give people a chance to see you differently.
●Authenticity: People are more likely to update their opinion if they perceive sincerity.
Interestingly, vulnerability — such as laughing at your own mistake or showing genuine emotion — can humanize you and actually enhance likability in the long run.
Why It Still Hurts
Even when we intellectually know that first impressions shouldn’t define us, a bad one can sting. That’s because it threatens two core human needs: social belonging and identity validation. The idea that someone might misunderstand or misjudge us feels like a rejection of who we are.
This reaction is more than emotional — it’s neurological. The brain processes social rejection using the same neural pathways as physical pain. So yes, it literally hurts.
First impressions matter — not because they reveal the whole truth, but because our brains are built to care deeply about them. They’re a social shortcut, a survival tool, and sometimes, a source of anxiety.
But science reminds us that people are more flexible than we think. Impressions can evolve. Minds can change. And even if your first moment didn’t go as planned, the story isn’t over.
You just have to keep showing up.
